Brunette Jokes

A brunette is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the brunette returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The brunette nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from all that skipping."


A Russian, an American, and a Brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Brunette said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Brunette replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"


Why did the brunette tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.


How can you tell the color brunette is evil? (hmmm!)
You ever see a blonde witch?


There was 3 girls on the run being chased by cops, they went in a barn and hid in 3 seperate potato bags.
The cops picked up the 1st bag and the auburn says "meow meow".
The cops said there's nothing in this bag except kittens they picked up the 2nd one and the brunette says, "woof woof"
The cops say there's nothing but puppy's in this bag they picked up the 3rd one and the blonde says, "THERE"S NO-ONE IN HERE!"


Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."
"She'll read it very slow."


Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.


Two brunettes living in Sydney were sitting on a bench
talking........ And one brunette says to the other, "Which do
you think is farther away..........the Gold Coast or the moon?"
The other brunette turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
you see the Gold Coast...??"


A brunette pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
Says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


A girl was visiting her brunette friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The brunette
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the brunette. "They're
watch dogs!"