"Confusion" Poem by CrystalKatt

I read the writings of the past
They rip and tear me in half

I started off so strong and true
But have reached an im-pass that makes me blue

What to do
What to say

When did I loose my way?
When did I become so much more weak?

I search and seek the answers still
The hole in my soul will not fill

I look about with bleakness of mind
To the way out, I am blind

I yearn to thrive and hope
Instead I blindly stumble and grope

The Rage eats at me continually
Shrinking my essence to the size of a flea

I scream and cry, shiver and quake
From this nightmare I wish I would wake

Who am I?
What am I?

The answers are so far out of reach
To the Goddess I continually beseech

Set me free
Send me strength

Give me hope
Let me live again

Hide not the answers my Lady
Send me what I need to go forward again

I've been knocked so far back
I know not the way out of this hellish black

At times I stand strong and firm
Determination gives others concern

Then I sink to a shriveled useless being
My inner self haunted and screaming

My face I life from the Earth
My eyes flit from normal to black fury

As I stare in to empty space
The Rage fights to over take

Constant is this struggle I yearn to win
I want my life to again begin

Take the hatred confusion and anger
I can no longer take its constant batter

I hold my head in constant strain
Trying to hold back those voices of the insane

Maybe that is what all this is about
The un-stableness of the mindless shout

As again I stare to empty space
The Rage has begun to over take

Do I even wish to fight it now?
I no longer even know how